Will you join me in this simple little activity using a pen?

by Mona on May 15, 2011

When’s the last time you sent someone a handwritten thank you note?

A real pen meets paper thank you note that maybe — just maybe — you even mailed via snail mail?

And when’s the last time you received a handwritten thank you note from someone?

With texts, emails, and phones…we all know that handwriting is losing popularity…

But does heartfelt gratitude have to leave with it?

One man’s attempt to turn his life around with gratitude…

I started reading a book today…

It’s a book that my dear friend Jaclyn got for me on my Kindle because she said, “It’s so Mona.”

She knows me pretty darn well, so I was really excited when I finally got to sit down and get into it.

It’s called 365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life

Jaclyn was right. This book is “so Mona” and I am so loving it.

The premise?

An unhappy, hating-his-life guy gets a thank you note and realizes how seldom he’s thanked others and what a small part gratitude has played in his life.

Then, in an inspired moment during a hike all by himself in the hills of Los Angeles, he decides that his life will be better if he writes 365 thank you notes over the course of the next year. The book follows him through his journey with pen, thank you cards, and gratitude – and the effects it has on his life and the lives of those around him.

Pretty cool, right?

Well, tonight I was tweeting about this book and a few new friends chimed in on the topic…

They were saying that thank you cards like this were a lost art and that it sounded like a great idea…

(I, couldn’t help but agree.)

Then, even though I wasn’t hiking on a mountain in Los Angeles like the author of the book was when he had his idea to write all the thank you notes, I had a wee small idea about writing thank you notes…

So I asked my new Twitter friends if they’d like to join me in sending a handwritten thank you card this week.

Just one.

Immediately 3 tweets came back from @CPasquella @bemadthen and @elleepiphany :

“I’m in!”

So I extend the question to you, dear friend…

Are you in?

Would you like to join us in this gratitude challenge and send a handwritten thank you card to someone this week?

If you’re in, leave a comment below to let the universe know you’re doin’ it!

Then start watching for someone in your life you can write a sweet thank you card to…

Who knows the incredible blessings and goodness that will come your way as a result of this gratitude and kindness…

We’ll check back in again next Sunday to share our thank you note stories…

Oh! And if you have a blog, share the news of what you’re up to with your handwritten thank you note and encourage your readers to get involved too so the gratitude can keep rippling out into our beautiful world…

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Consciously Choosing 3 Self-Care Practices

by Mona on May 9, 2011

Are you aware of what’s running your life?

Maybe some deadlines? Responsibilities? Fears?

A lot of us feel like that’s what run our lives…

As if that’s just the way it is…

But there’s another way living…

And it has to do with *choosing* what we allow to guide and run our lives.

It involves letting the old default ways of living fall to the side (after thanking them for being part of our lives of course…

And then welcoming in with open arms the qualities and practices that allow us to thrive and feel empowered on a daily basis.

But we gotta choose them.

It’s not going to happen on its own.

Left to their own devices, our lives will tend to stay the same as they have been — with fear, lack, and avoidance of pain continuing to run the show.

But when we choose…that’s when everything changes.

Below are three self-care practices and qualities that I have consciously chosen to bring into my life.

They allow me to sustain enjoyment of my beautiful life.

And like most self-care practices, these three core practices give way to many other beautiful self-care practices that I am incredibly grateful for.

But without these three, the others would not be born.

They are what my friend Jen Louden might consider part of my Minimum Daily Requirements and I do my best to live with them in my heart, mind, and soul on a daily basis as I move through my life.

As you read through them, consider what yours might be.

Maybe you relate to the ones that I’ve shared. Maybe you’ll realize there’s some other HUGE piece of the picture that you’ve been needing to bring more of into your life and now you see it more clearly…

Here are the ones I’ve found really work for me…

Self-Care Practice #1: Feeling Good:

When I don’t feel good physically or emotionally, things in my life feel much more difficult.

It’s not that they ARE more difficult.

It’s that they seem and feel more difficult.

Why? Because if I don’t feel good, the events that I experience meet a version of me that is weakened and tired and upset. A me who is not resourceful and inspired.

This is why it’s my highest priority to support myself in feeling good physically, emotionally, mentally, an spiritually.

Surprisingly, this was not an easy choice to make.

Initially I had a lot of resistance to feeling good and allowing myself to feel good.

But when I found the willingness to feel good and I finally did make the conscious choice to feel good, it was the domino that tipped over all the other goodness in my life.

Totally amazing.

Self-Care Practice #2: Simplicity:

I used to think that being complicated was something that made me special. Something to wear on my sleeve — but kind of in a hidden way so that I could only reveal it to the people who I thought really mattered.

Not only did my life usually seem complicated to me on the outside, but my internal world was complicated for me also.

I spent a lot of time trying to figure and sort things out, a lot of time living in the past, (makes things very complicated!) and a lot of time dealing with low-grade depression and anxiety. Ooof.

As I made my transition toward happiness, however, and discovered what it took to sustain it, I found there wasn’t room for things that were complicated.

Taking on complicated projects, worrying that things were messed up and confusing, and thinking that I myself was complicated in a way that was inherently impossible to undo…were totally cramping my happiness.

So I made a conscious choice: Complicated was out. Simplicity was in.

And my oh my, how things got better for me and I made that distinction.

Self-Care Practice #3. Surrender:

This one is like the river that the other self-care practices float on.

There are a few pieces to my relationship with surrender:

It involves doing my best (with as much love, focus, and skill as I have available to me in that moment) and then releasing my attachment to the outcome.

That’s the magic part.

Trusting, having faith, watching how I am supported no matter what.

And choosing to be grateful for the outcome I receive as a result of my efforts.

Saying thank you to everything! Everything. Everything. Everything! (Even the things I would have complained about in the past.) Everything means everything

And gratitude toward everything? Well it’s just about the most powerful thing I’ve discovered to date.

The Three That Lead to Glee

Feeling good. Simplicity. Surrender.

The three self-care practices I consciously chose to bring into my life so that it could flow and I could enjoy more of it.

What are some of the qualities you could choose that you know would make it easier for you to enjoy your life?

It doesn’t matter if you know THE three yet…

(Trying to be perfect and get it right the first time and KNOW things is a pretty sure way to stunt our happiness…)

So just start opening your heart and mind to it…

Fill in the blank to get the creative juices flowing:

“If I practiced _____________ more often, I’d probably be happier and/or my life would flow more smoothly, etc.”

Complete the sentence a few times with whatever comes up as you’re thinking about it.

No need to censor. Just list them out…

The more qualities and practices you imagine, the more clarity you can get about what wuld really make the biggest impact in your life if you were to start practicing them.

And no, you don’t have to practice them all at the same time. Even starting with one conscious self-care choice can make a huge difference.

But like I said earlier, we gotta choose it.

It’s not going to happen on its own.

So give yourself a little loving help today…

Leave a comment and let me know what you’re thinking, feeling, and realizing after reading through this…

And let the conscious choosing begin!

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How To Be Happy – The Easy Way

by Mona on May 8, 2011

Before I tell you how to be happy  (the easy way!) I gotta make sure you know how we wind up unhappy in the first place.

Don’t worry – we’re not taking any long trips back into your psyche or childhood memories.

The main thing to understand is that getting unhappy takes the same amount of effort as getting happy.

“Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them. ” -Epictetus

The only reason we are ever unhappy (stressed, bothered, worried, angry) is because of what we THINK about the situation we’re in or the situation we’re observing.

Unhappiness is a result of our thoughts.

That’s it!

Consider this…

How do you think it is that one kid is totally bummed when she gets a C on a test and another kid is ecstatic?

Both kids got C’s on their tests…

One is happy and one is miserable.

Obviously a “C” written on the top of the paper is not the cause of their feelings.

There’s something else affecting whether they feel good or bad.

Yep…it’s the view that the kids took about their respective C’s.

One kid thought it was great. Another thought it was terrible.

The way they thought about their C is what caused their feelings.

Got it?

It’s with this insight that we’ll explore how to be happy – the easy way.

Remember…being unhappy is a result of your thinking.

And…

Being happy is also a result of your thinking.

This is great news!

Since you’re going to be thinking *something* – it may as well be something that you like and that makes you feel good.

We are thinking machines.

That’s what our brains and minds do. They think. Think. Think. And think some more.

Thoughts come in lots of forms:

  • Thoughts about the past.
  • Thoughts about the present.
  • Thoughts about the future.
  • Thoughts we don’t like.
  • Thoughts we do like.

That means your thoughts are always a combination of those things.

  1. Thoughts about the past that we don’t like.
  2. Thoughts about the present that we don’t like.
  3. Thoughts about the future that we don’t like.

Or we can have:

  1. Thoughts about the past we DO like.
  2. Thoughts about the present we DO like.
  3. Thoughts about the future we DO like.

So here’s where it gets really simple…

If you want to feel good, stop thinking things that make you feel bad.

And start thinking things you enjoy and that make you feel good!

If you don’t like how you feel when you think about what your kids are going to do after they graduate high school, stop thinking about that. (You worrying isn’t helping anything.)

Instead, start thinking about that great meal you had last night that tasted so good, or how grateful you are that your kids are even graduating high school. Start thinking about that great sweater you got on sale, or the funny TV show you’re looking forward to watching later.

If you don’t like looking at the dirty dishes in your kitchen, for crying out loud, stop looking at them..and start looking at something you find beautiful!

There are so many incredible things in the world to look at. You do not need to torture yourself by looking at things you don’t like.

Eventually, when you are feeling better, you can look at the dirty dishes and it will be okay. But for now, stop looking at them.

Focus your attention on your kitty cat, your artwork, your beautiful yard, the birthday card on the fridge, close your eyes and imagine yourself at the beach if that feels good…

This is a matter of focusing your attention on what you DO like instead of what you DON’T like.

It’s a matter of THINKING about what you do like instead of thinking about what you don’t like.

The more you boost yourself up with good feelings by choosing to focus on things you like, the easier doing everything else in your life gets.

Life is easier when you feel good!

When you feel bad, everything else seems difficult…have you noticed?

We get unhappy by focusing on things that we don’t like. By thinking about them over and over and over.

Knowing that this is how our brain works, we can reverse engineer our happiness.

Start focusing on things that you do like. Think about them over and over and over…and watch how you start to feel better.

Making lists like this is a great way to start getting your attention going in a feel-good direction:

I like peaches! I like the ponies next door! I like waking up early! I like sleeping in! I like fresh juice! I like coconuts! I like my pillows! I like flute music! I like my mom! I like my spiral notebooks. I like my new red puffer vest. I like strawberries. I like grapes! I like my car! I like blue skies! I like the chirping birds! I like my prayer flags! I like my Kindle! I like my friends!

Use the comments below and make a list of things you like! Focus your attention like this regularly and magic will happen. Bippity boppity boo!

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The Same Ol’ Same Ol’ Isn’t That At All

by Mona on October 13, 2010

It may seem like your life is familiar and routine…

That you do the same things over and over every day…

In some ways, this is true. But on a more refined level, nothing you do is ever the same. Ever.

When you interact with your loved ones, even though you may have been with them for years, things are different. The way they stand, the way your hair is, the depth of your breath, the thoughts you’re thinking, the heaviness in their hearts…

When you brush your teeth, the degree to which you’re bent over the sink may differ, the amount of toothpaste that came out, the force with which you brush, the length of time, the things you think about, the placement of other items on the counter, the number of toothpaste bubbles that have smudged the mirror…all could be different.

When you are driving the same path to the store that you always take, the pebbles on the road are in different spots, the clouds are in different formations than they were last time, the air coming through your vents has different particles in it, the shelves at the store have been restocked…

And even your familiar cashiers (though they may look very similar in their uniforms as they did the last time you came in) are completely different. They have different food in their bellies, they’ve been wearing their uniforms for slightly different amounts of time, they’ve touched different amounts of money as the day has gone on…

Everything is always SO different…

But even if only ONE thing were different and everything else were exactly the same…the moment would still be its own magical creation!

In this way, every moment is new…and you will never ever come upon a moment just like it in all the world…ever again.

See if you can see it…

Take a seemingly familiar situation or interaction and look for the subtle distinctions that make it a miracle from the previous times.

What are the qualities and happenings that are making it “unique in all the world” as my friend the Little Prince would say?

And now that you see this beautiful unique moment, what will you choose to do with it?

How might this awareness of ever-lasting newness change the way you relate to your life?

“I expect to pass this way but once; any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

- Etienne De Grellet

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Eee! I love feeling as happy as this sweet baby…

July 13, 2010

Thank you to Mama Maple for taking this beautiful photo.

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30-Minute Energy Alignment Process from Esther & Jerry Hicks

July 10, 2010

I’m reading The Vortex by Ester & Jerry Hicks. On page 41 they share a 30-minute Energy Alignment Process that I’m starting tonight when I go to sleep: Find things in your immediate vicinity – such as your bed, your linens, your pillow – to direct your attention toward. Set the intention to sleep well [...]

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Where Were You On July 6, 2009?

July 7, 2010

Where were you on July 6, 2009? I was sitting at my laptop blogging these 9 things about how I wanted my life to be different in 30 days: July 6, 2009: Describe the me that I would like to be in 30 days: I wake up happy and excited to see what the day [...]

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Why I’m Happy With What I’ve Done

July 3, 2010

Last time I wrote about how instead of valuing productivity, I now value feeling good. And because I choose feeling good over productivity, my life is way different. For one, I feel better more often. (Hi Captain Obvious!) Another one is that by choosing to feel good, I also regularly meet my COE’s as Jen [...]

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How I Get Myself To Do Things Without Using Fear, Pressure, or Guilt

June 23, 2010

Getting Clear About My Why I’m the type of person who tends to want to know Why I’m doing things. (Other people need to know How, or What, or Application Possibilities.) Since I know that I’m the Why kind of person, it’s silly to ignore it. So here’s how I use it: If I want [...]

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How I Do That Thing I Do…With My Food

June 15, 2010

Some people ask me how I’m able to eat the way I eat. They’re amazed that I don’t cook my food. And that I don’t feel deprived all the time. And that I manage to survive without cheese or sugar. They think it takes will power, so they tell themselves they could never do it. [...]

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