I often tell myself that I want to feel good and better…
And yet on another hand, I’m afraid of feeling well.
It’s weird.
But definitely something I’m aware of.
So I’m going to get some of this stuff out there so I can be *more* aware of it.
Why I don’t want to feel good. Why I’m sometimes afraid of feeling good:
- If I feel good, people will expect too much from me.
- If I feel good, people will judge me as being too happy.
- If I feel good, I’ll just get sick again.
- If I feel good, bad things will happen.
- If I feel good, people will want stuff from me.
- If I feel good, I’ll have to change.
- If I feel good, life will be scarier.
- If I feel good, I’ll be unsafe.
- If I feel good, I’ll be vulnerable.
- If I feel good, people will take advantage of me.
No wonder I haven’t always felt good in the past.
These kinds of concepts stop me from being totally aligned with what I say I want. I *think* I want to feel good, but underneath there are these things that make me go, “Well, maybe not….”
Have you ever noticed a fear of feeling good?
I mean, logically it makes sense that you want to feel good…
But underneath it, what have some of the things been that kinda keep you from feeling totally free to feel your best?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, Mona, I’m so totally with you on that one! I couldn’t have expressed it any better than you did. Your list of reasons why you may sometimes be afraid of feeling good is extremely similar to mine. Something else I have noticed is that even when I can admit to myself that I am feeling good (or at least “better”), I tend to minimize it when I’m being asked by other people how I am feeling. “Not too bad”, I’ll say…
I wish I was able to go beyond those fears, and also to feel free to feel really good (or even as good as I can). It’s hard. I’m working on it… and now I know that I’m doing so in very good company! {hugs}
Josiane´s last blog ..Taking action instead of resolving to do so
@Josiane – Thanks for connecting on this. I also know what you mean about downplaying when I *do* feel good. Other things come up for me like:
- They’ll be jealous.
- They’ll think I’m arrogant.
- They’ll resent me.
- They’ll think I don’t care about them.
- They’ll think I can’t relate to them and how they feel.
- They’ll think I’m like Pollyanna.
- They don’t really care how I’m doing anyway.
- They don’t want to hear about how good I’m doing.
- Nobody really wants me to feel good anyway.
- They just want themselves to feel better than me…
Just rattling these off. Phew!
You say you’re working on it…what are some of the things you do to work on feeling okay with feeling okay? And even good and better than good?
@Mona: Oh, there we differ! The reasons why I’m downplaying how I’m feeling if I’m feeling better than “not too bad” don’t have to do with the other person’s thoughts and feelings so much as with the fact that if I admit to someone else that I’m doing good, I’ll have to own that fact for myself for real, and that comes with all the associated fears mentioned in your post – scary!
As for the working-on-it thing… so far, I’m still pretty much at the bringing-awareness-to-it level. Noticing when it comes up and how, observing the pattern, trying to identify the needs and the ways I could meet those needs. Looking for a loose end I could tug on in order to start untangling the pattern. Trying to get more info about it through my Shiva Nata practice. And doing more of the same with other related patterns… shifting something else may very well help this thing shift too.
Oh, I didn’t think I’d have all that much to say about this when I started writing! Thanks for prompting me to write this down: realizing I’m already doing quite a bit about this (more than I thought!) feels great! I hope you can find helpful bits in there too.
Josiane´s last blog ..Taking action instead of resolving to do so
I can relate. I have felt that way in the past too. Part of it is that you liberate yourself from some things in order to deal with being unwell. Then you worry if you are well you will pile those stresses back on. Good news is, you don’t have to! But it’s hard to learn and break those habits.
bitt´s last blog ..the psychological relationship to food
@Bitt Yep – that fear can be pretty intense. But you’re right. We don’t have to put those stresses on. And I love that I’ve figured out ways to avoid doing that. Phew!
Being happy, sharing happiness is the purpose of creation.
Contacting that eternal bliss consciousness when the active mind settles down to it’s least excited state during TM makes the whole thing easy. One dissolves the stresses & blocks with the deep rest gained & happiness grows daily.
I’d advise, don’t think too much about anything, just transcend & enjoy! It’s natural
Best wishes
FitRosie´s last blog ..Everyday Bliss For Busy Women – My Next Read
@Rosie – I didn’t used to think I deserved to feel good and be happy. Now that I realize that I do deserve it…and that I CAN do it…everything is easier. Also agree that when I think about things too much (and start to worry or obsess) it takes away from the joy that I experience.