Comments on: Afraid Of Feeling Good

By: Nik

Nik — Sun, 08 May 2011 16:04:57 +0000

Thank you, I just read a synopsis of the book. The picture alone on the cover tells such a huge story. I will definitely make a purchase. Right on time!
Nik´s last blog ..Don’t Get Whooped!

By: Mona

Mona — Tue, 03 May 2011 18:47:41 +0000

Yes, yes, yes, Nik. I totally understand what you’re talking about. Waiting for the other shoe to drop is very popular in our culture…though not necessarily a great habit. There’s an amazing book I read on this topic called The Big Leap…I think you’d get a lot out of it. It really draws attention to how we limit ourselves in terms of how much goodness we can stand before we start opening ourselves to limits and not letting ourselves experience more and more good things. It’s fascinating! Wishing you plenty of awareness and self-love as you work with these inner limits. xoxo

By: Nik

Nik — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 01:25:58 +0000

I have experienced this before. I came from a religious background that taught suffering was a badge of honor. Whenever something bad happened, it was some kind of test. The reality was oftentimes it was due to bad decision making, or a lack of making one at all. When things became quiet in my life, it was like I couldn’t believe it and waited for something to go wrong. It’s almost like life is not supposed to be peaceful, but in fact that is a reality that can be achieved, even when things are not perfect.
Nik´s last blog ..Don’t Get Whooped!

By: Mona

Mona — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 13:06:43 +0000

@Bitt Yep – that fear can be pretty intense. But you’re right. We don’t have to put those stresses on. And I love that I’ve figured out ways to avoid doing that. Phew!

By: Mona

Mona — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 13:05:49 +0000

@Rosie – I didn’t used to think I deserved to feel good and be happy. Now that I realize that I do deserve it…and that I CAN do it…everything is easier. Also agree that when I think about things too much (and start to worry or obsess) it takes away from the joy that I experience.

By: FitRosie

FitRosie — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 11:38:45 +0000

Being happy, sharing happiness is the purpose of creation.
Contacting that eternal bliss consciousness when the active mind settles down to it’s least excited state during TM makes the whole thing easy. One dissolves the stresses & blocks with the deep rest gained & happiness grows daily.
I’d advise, don’t think too much about anything, just transcend & enjoy! It’s natural
Best wishes
FitRosie´s last blog ..Everyday Bliss For Busy Women – My Next Read

By: bitt

bitt — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 05:30:39 +0000

I can relate. I have felt that way in the past too. Part of it is that you liberate yourself from some things in order to deal with being unwell. Then you worry if you are well you will pile those stresses back on. Good news is, you don’t have to! But it’s hard to learn and break those habits.
bitt´s last blog ..the psychological relationship to food

By: Josiane

Josiane — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 04:54:11 +0000

@Mona: Oh, there we differ! The reasons why I’m downplaying how I’m feeling if I’m feeling better than “not too bad” don’t have to do with the other person’s thoughts and feelings so much as with the fact that if I admit to someone else that I’m doing good, I’ll have to own that fact for myself for real, and that comes with all the associated fears mentioned in your post – scary!

As for the working-on-it thing… so far, I’m still pretty much at the bringing-awareness-to-it level. Noticing when it comes up and how, observing the pattern, trying to identify the needs and the ways I could meet those needs. Looking for a loose end I could tug on in order to start untangling the pattern. Trying to get more info about it through my Shiva Nata practice. And doing more of the same with other related patterns… shifting something else may very well help this thing shift too.
Oh, I didn’t think I’d have all that much to say about this when I started writing! Thanks for prompting me to write this down: realizing I’m already doing quite a bit about this (more than I thought!) feels great! I hope you can find helpful bits in there too.
Josiane´s last blog ..Taking action instead of resolving to do so

By: Mona

Mona — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 03:27:04 +0000

@Josiane – Thanks for connecting on this. I also know what you mean about downplaying when I *do* feel good. Other things come up for me like:

- They’ll be jealous.
- They’ll think I’m arrogant.
- They’ll resent me.
- They’ll think I don’t care about them.
- They’ll think I can’t relate to them and how they feel.
- They’ll think I’m like Pollyanna.
- They don’t really care how I’m doing anyway.
- They don’t want to hear about how good I’m doing.
- Nobody really wants me to feel good anyway.
- They just want themselves to feel better than me…

Just rattling these off. Phew!

You say you’re working on it…what are some of the things you do to work on feeling okay with feeling okay? And even good and better than good?

By: Josiane

Josiane — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 02:55:31 +0000

Oh, Mona, I’m so totally with you on that one! I couldn’t have expressed it any better than you did. Your list of reasons why you may sometimes be afraid of feeling good is extremely similar to mine. Something else I have noticed is that even when I can admit to myself that I am feeling good (or at least “better”), I tend to minimize it when I’m being asked by other people how I am feeling. “Not too bad”, I’ll say…
I wish I was able to go beyond those fears, and also to feel free to feel really good (or even as good as I can). It’s hard. I’m working on it… and now I know that I’m doing so in very good company! {hugs}
Josiane´s last blog ..Taking action instead of resolving to do so