Thank you to Mama Maple for taking this beautiful photo.

I’m reading The Vortex by Ester & Jerry Hicks. On page 41 they share a 30-minute Energy Alignment Process that I’m starting tonight when I go to sleep:

1. Find things in your immediate vicinity – such as your bed, your linens, your pillow – to direct your attention toward.
2. Set the intention to sleep well and wake up refreshed.
3. When you wake up in the morning, lie in appreciation for at least 5 minutes.
4. Refresh yourself by bathing and eating.
5. Sit for 15 minutes and quiet your mind. Feel your vibration rise.
6. Open your eyes. Write for 10-15 minutes about things you appreciate about your life.

It feels so nice just *thinking* about doing this. Imagine actually doing it!

I’ll be back tomorrow to report on this experience.

Join me if you think it’d feel good!

Last time I wrote about how instead of valuing productivity, I now value feeling good.

And because I choose feeling good over productivity, my life is way different.

For one, I feel better more often. (Hi Captain Obvious!)

Another one is that by choosing to feel good, I also regularly meet my COE’s as Jen Louden calls them.

Conditions of Enoughness.

The other day I had a copywriting project to wrap up for someone. It was hanging out in the background of my mind but I just hadn’t made the leap to finalize it. So I went to Panera’s and gave myself a 3 hour time block to get it done in.

With the help of some good tunes and a window to look out of when I needed to daydream a bit, I got it totally finished in 90 minutes and my clients loved the work I did.

So guess what?

I let that be enough for the entire day!

That was all the work I was going to do and that’s all the work I did.

It was so cool.

I didn’t once think about all the stuff I “should be doing” that I wasn’t doing.

Was there stuff I *could* have been doing?

Of course. There always is…and there always will be other things I *could* be doing.

But should?

Not anymore.

Not when I declare what enough is and then lean into that and ride it.

It was totally enough that I completed that project. It was a big deal to finish it.

Totally enough. And because I declared that it was enough, I got to experience other things during my day.

Not knowing where enough is with work.

When I work without knowing what enough is, it’s like overeating.

I don’t listen to the signal to stop – if I even notice the signal at all.

I don’t know when to stop stuffing myself with work.

I don’t know how to feel good about what I’ve already done.

Not knowing what Enough is actually affects me negatively.

Because then I work work work – don’t take care of myself – then wind up in trouble.

What kind of life is that?

Learning how to identify what Enough is in my life may be one of the best lessons I’ve learned all year.

I use it around food. I use it around work. I use it around my body. Around my friendships. It’s amazing.

I’m even getting better at recognizing the Enoughness after the fact if I forget to declare it beforehand.

(Thank you for bringing Enough to life for me, Jen. )

Getting Clear About My Why

I’m the type of person who tends to want to know Why I’m doing things. (Other people need to know How, or What, or Application Possibilities.) Since I know that I’m the Why kind of person, it’s silly to ignore it.

So here’s how I use it: If I want to see something through all the way, I need to make sure I’m clear about Why I’m doing it. If I don’t give that information to myself and allow myself to connect to it, I’m setting myself up to fail. I’m not giving myself the best chance of succeeding. So I gotta be clear about my why.

I need to be clear about WHY I’m doing something. What is it that you need to be clear about before you feel good about doing things?

Another one of my non-anxiety-producing productivity tips is this one:

Putting Down The Stick

Remember the donkey withe carrot and the stick?

When I stop using the stick, it’s all different. I used to use Sticks on myself all the time. That’s how I got myself to do things. Beat myself up. Guilt myself into do it. Put pressure on myself to do things…or ELSE…all this yucky stuff would happen. That’s how I did it for years.

But guess what? I’m not willing to play that game anymore. Obviously it wasn’t working! So what if I got stuff done? It wasn’t fun and I didn’t like myself during it. I wasn’t happy. It made me physically ill. I wasn’t healthy. So that’s clearly not the right approach for me.

When I valued productivity above all else, I needed the stick.

But now, I choose feeling good over productivity . When I choose feeling good, I can’t use the stick anymore. It doesn’t go together. When I choose feeling good, I put the stick down and pick up the carrot and move toward my goals instead of away from my worries and panicky fears.

I used to use the stick but I realized it wasn’t giving me the results I actually wanted. Now I’m switching it up and putting down the stick in favor of the carrot. What’s your relationship with the carrot and the stick?

Making it inevitable.

So how do I help myself move forward without pushing myself and tying myself to my computer for days and days?

I set up conditions that will lovingly, and kindly support me in finishing The Thing.

With my recent Thing, I realized that one of the reasons it’s so hard to finish is that I’m not in communication with anyone about it. I’m not talking to my prospects in this niche. I haven’t been talking about it with my clients. I’ve basically totally abandoned the thoughts that need to be active in order to complete this project.

Now that I see that I’ve been doing this, and I see how the lack of engagement about the topic has been keeping me from being able to work toward completion, I’m setting up a condition that will make it so that I DO get that interaction on the topic of the unfinished project.

I’m creating a group teleclass coaching program so that I can talk with my people about the topic of the book I’m going to finish. That my inevitability.

By creating the class and having people register for it, I’ll have a context for opening up the topic of conversation again – both with the participants – and in my mind. And the people who pre-ordered the yet incomplete book, will get to attend this program for free.

So as I re-immerse myself on the topic of the book within this teleclass coaching program, completing the book will come naturally because I’m thinking about the topic so much more.

Again…it’s one of those duh kind of moments, but if I’m not immersed in the content for the book I want to finish, it’s going to be much harder for me to finish it.

Solution? Make it inevitable that I have some conversation going about the topic of the book. If that’s what I need in order to complete the project, then I’m going to give it to myself. That’s the domino that when it tips, the others will start tipping too. It has nothing to do with fear, shaming, blaming, pressure, or anxiety. And everything to do with being really clear about what I require so that I can give myself the conditions that will help me succeed.

What ingredient is missing in the recipe for you completing The Unfinished Thing? What kind of conditions could you set in place to make it inevitable that you’re set up for more success and have the support you require?

Some people ask me how I’m able to eat the way I eat.

They’re amazed that I don’t cook my food.

And that I don’t feel deprived all the time.

And that I manage to survive without cheese or sugar.

They think it takes will power, so they tell themselves they could never do it.

They think it requires a lot of time, so they tell themselves they could never do it.

But they totally can do it.

If I can do it, anyone can do it.

It comes down to this:

Are you willing to feel good more often?

I know it sounds like a weird question…

But I mean it…

Would it be okay with you if you felt good more often?

Would it be okay with you if you didn’t feel so __insert negative emotion of choice__ ?

Would it be okay if you felt open-hearted, peaceful, hopeful and happy about your life?

Most people would say, “Absolutely! Pass the Happy!”

But what they say and what they do are entirely different things…

The things they do DON’T help them get happier.

And I used to do this same thing.

I said I wanted to feel better. I said things like, “I just want to be happy…” “I want to feel at peace w/my life.”

But then I didn’t act according to that. It was just lip service. My actions didn’t back me up.

I’d go out at lunch and have a bunch of Thai noodles and peanut sauce and fried tofu, oily curry and rice, and then feel full, heavy, and exhausted.

Then I’d have to take a nap for 2 hours because the food made me so tired…

And I’d wake up feeling groggy – never really perking up all the way back up….

Then I’d eat my Thai leftovers and veg out in front of the TV until I went to bed.

Umm HELLO?

That’s not what someone who wants to feel GOOD does.

People who want to feel good don’t eat food that makes them feel bad.

Duh.

They don’t eat food that makes them tired, have a headache, or be unable to concentrate or come crashing down later.

People who want to feel good eat food that helps them feel good…if not better!

(They certainly don’t eat food that makes them feel worse.)

People who want to feel good eat food that gives them energy so they can do whatever they choose to do.

People who want to feel good spend time working through their own drama instead of spending hours watching TV about other people’s dramas.

I said that I wanted to feel good – and I loved the idea of it – but the truth was that I didn’t really want to feel good.

I wasn’t ready yet. That’s why I ate things that made me feel bad.

I just wasn’t ready to feel good yet.

I didn’t think it was okay.

And a really big part of it was that I didn’t think I could feel good.

I was kinda attached and stuck in the place I was at and didn’t get that I actually could feel better.

Now that I know I deserve to feel good, my food choices are easier…

I’m very clear about WHY I eat the way I do.

I eat what I eat because I know it’s going to support me in feeling good and celebrating my life!

My body and my mind feel great because of what I choose to eat.

Check in with yourself:

Did you intentionally choose the way you’re eating?

Or are you eating the way you eat out of default?

Do you know WHY you’re eating the way you’re eating?

Do you know WHY you’re eating the things you’re eating?

What do you base your food choices on? Taste? Texture? Price? Nutrient levels? Calories? Expiration date? Location? Convenience?

Doing that thing I do with my food isn’t even about the food…

It’s just one of many things that have changed in my life as a result of choosing to feel good.

Saying we’re overwhelmed is socially acceptable.

“It’s all so overwhelming.”

“I have so much stuff to do.”

“Ugh. I’m overwhelmed.”

Sounds like a bummer thing to experience…

But nobody really freaks out when you tell them you’re overwhelmed, have you noticed?

You don’t get the same OMG reaction that you’d get if you told them you broke your leg or were covered in poison ivy.

But don’t let people’s ho-hum reaction to your overwhelm convince you that it’s not a big deal.

Overwhelm is a sign of serious neglect.

Self-abuse even.

Think about it…

It can cause heart palpitations, anxiety, sleep troubles, sexual dysfunction, depression, sudden changes in mood, freak out sessions. It impairs judgment and can sabotage your business success.

Feeling overwhelmed sucks. And it hurts.

<Queue the melodramatic doctor’s voice telling you all the side effects to watch out for with those new-fangled prescription meds.>

Overwhelm is a sign of serious neglect.

If we’re feeling overwhelmed, something is seriously off.

There’s more (and bigger!) stuff going on than we’re admitting.

Overwhelm doesn’t happen when there are just a few things going on…

There has to be a big huge thing we’re neglecting – which gives those other little things a place to hang out and bug us.

Overwhelm only happens when something important is being seriously neglected.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed…get honest with yourself.

What’s the Big Thing that you’re neglecting?

It’s not that you have too much to do.

It’s that there’s one Big Thing you haven’t been doing.

Have you worked on yourself so much over the years…

That sometimes the thought of doing *more* work on yourself
just seems hard, and painful so you don’t want to do it?

I’ve been there too…

But Inner Work can totally be fun!

In fact, it’s my new #1 rule for working on myself:

Only if it feels good and is fun.

Oh, and it has to be easy too…

I’m *so* done with stressing myself out about something
that’s supposed to help me be less stressed.

Know what I mean?

So I only do Inner Work that’s fun, easy, and feels good
now.

Woo-Hoo!

I love what my friend Diana said on Twitter along the same
lines:

“If you’re not enjoying your healing process, then you’re not healing.”

Yes!

Healing should feel good and be enjoyable.

So, what I want to suggest is this…

If the thought of working on yourself hurts, seems hard, or
makes you want to eat a cupcake or watch TV for hours…

The stuff you’ve been doing hasn’t actually been Healing
Work…

It’s been Stressing Work.

That’s why you still feel yucky even after you’ve done all
this work on yourself.

Ugh.

No more of that, k?

What if you choose to make sure that any Inner Work you do
from now on is fun, feels good, and is easy?

That’s what I’m all about these days…

And I’ve been having such nice healing experiences…

Like, last night I spent the evening outside in my yard…

Which may not sound like a very big deal…

But I was in the Dark.

Alone.

I used to be afraid of the Dark.

(I mean it – I’d had this low-level anxiety about it for
about as long as I can remember…)

But because of the fun new inner work I’ve been doing with
myself…

And the new inner freedoms it’s giving me…

I was able to enjoy spending time in my yard at night by
myself…

For the first time. Ever.

And it happened because I changed the way I do my Inner
Work.

I had so much fun in my Garden Lounge.

Here’s a picture of it during the day – since my
iPhone doesnt’ take pictures well at night:

The other way I’d been doing it (by stressing myself out and
overdoing it) didn’t work.

Bringing enjoyment, play, fun, and creativity into my Inner
Work *did*.

So how about you?

Are you curious about how your Inner Work could be more fun?

Are you curious about how you can “work on your stuff” and
enjoy it?

Leave a comment and tell me what you’re thinking about all this…

But only write to me if it would be fun, okay?

On April 8th, I spent a day without shoes. I was inspired by TOMS shoes.

In case you haven’t heard of them..

For every pair of their shoes they sell, they give a pair of their shoes to a child in a developing country who has no shoes.

So cool.

Well, on their website, they had a challenge that over 80,000 people around the world took on…

Can you do for one day, what millions of people do everyday?

Could you go without shoes? For a whole day?

I said yes, so I pledged to do it and spent the day barefoot.

I figured it’d be pretty easy since I love being barefoot and usually I wear flip flops everywhere anyway.

So it wouldn’t be all that different.

But it was.

12 Assorted Sharings & Learnings From My Day Without Shoes

1. Store floors are really cold.

I had never given it much thought. But brrrr. Very chilly. Made my whole body cold and wishing I had brought a sweatshirt with me. Carpeting in the clothing area of Target was a grateful discovery.

Paint is good.

2. Pavement is really hot.

No surprise here. I knew this from when I used to have Who Can Stand On The Pavement The Longest contests when I was in middle school. Stupid, silly game. I was grateful to scurry over to the white paint strips that delineate the parking spaces. Those are slightly cooler.

3. Shoes: Everyone had them.

I had never really paid attention to other people’s shoes when I was out before. Like really looked at people’s shoes. But everyone was wearing them (except me.) Some people were wearing plain shoes. Others were in fancier shoes.

When I saw the women in the fancy shoes – like strappy sandles that went up their ankles, I also knew that it was not the only pair that woman owned. She probably had a whole collection of them. Shoe abundance. And probably a bunch she owned that she didn’t even like. Some people have closet fulls. Other people have zero point zero zero pairs of shoes.

4. There Are Unused Shoes.

As I was walking on the hot pavement to get to the sidewalk, I walked past a Payless Shoe Source. A whole *building* full of shoes being unused. Just waiting for some feet to be put in them. Aisles of shoes! And why weren’t there lines out the door for them? Because most people where I live already have shoes. Tons of them.

I stubbed my toe on the cart about 4 minutes later.

5. It’s Easy to Hurt Your Feet.

Part of the reason it’s so important that people everywhere have shoes is that it’s dangerous to go without them. You can step on sharp things, cut yourself, burn your feet on hot surfaces, get splinters, get infections. Yuck. I stubbed my toe on the wheel of my shopping cart as I was pushing it around Henry’s Market. Fortunately I had trimmed my toenails recently so I didn’t jam it so hard that any damage was done. The potential for foot injury sure increases without shoes on.

6. Am I Missing Something?

When I’m being a passenger in a car, I often take my flip flops off and sit cross-legged in the seat. Might not be the best position to be in were an airbag to deploy, but it’s super comfortable, and on my barefoot day, my roommate was driving her VW Bug, which is super spacious. Anyway – the “am I missing something” part comes in because I kept putting my feet down thinking that I needed to put my shoes on. But there weren’t any there. So it was interesting to notice how habitually I look for shoes. Doesn’t even require conscious thought.

Look at my sign...

7. Talking With People About Being Shoeless

As I was going barefoot, I wore a sign on my hip. It was a 3×5 card safety-pinned to my shirt that said: OneDayWithoutShoes.com. I wore it to draw attention to my shoelessness and to (hopefully) invite people to ask me about what I was doing.

One guy noticed it at the grocery store check out lane. He said, “So what’s OneDayWithoutShoes all about?” I told him and he had heard of TOMS shoes and thought it was cool. (In hindsight I wished I had suggested to him that he take his shoes off and at least walk to his car thinking about what we had talked about.) The cashier then got in on the conversation and said that her mission group sends shoes to third-world countries too. She was excited.

8. No Shirt No Shoes No Service.

At this point of the day, while talking to the cashier and the guy who asked about the notecard on my shirt, I shared an insight I had with them.

It so happened that neither of the stores I went into noticed that I didn’t have shoes on. If they had noticed, I probably wouldn’t have been allowed in. Store policies and all.

So I told them that if I hadn’t been allowed in the stores without my shoes, that as part of the experience, I would NOT have asked my roommate to pick things up for me.

I would have instead opted for the experience that when you don’t have shoes, you don’t get to go grocery shopping. You don’t get to buy food. You don’t get to buy your medicine. You go without other things too.

So even though that didn’t happen to me, I was quite aware that it could have happened, and that it would have meant that I went without some of the things that I wanted and needed.

The cashier with the mission group said she was going to meditate on this insight.

9. Pain Sets In Slowly

After getting back from both of my errands, I laid in the sun and thought about where else I might go to be shoeless.

I decided to stay in.

It was good that I did because my feet (and legs) got progressively more and more sore.

It felt great during the day (when I wasn’t on the hot pavement or stubbing my toe on the shopping cart) but soreness set in big time as the sun went down. Not from cuts or scrapes or anything. Just from standing and walking on my bare feet. I was surprised. It went up my calves too. Ouch.

10. Lovely Relief.

I was achey and sore and wanted to go to sleep early. I asked my roommate if she had any sugar or salt foot scrub. She didn’t, but she had an idea to make our own!

So we did.

Sugar, olive oil, juice from half an orange, and some epsom salt (which gave it an awesome gritty texture).

We sat on the edge of the tub and scrubbed our feet with our magnificent scrub and it felt sooo good. Just what my feet were ready for.

Thoughts during this part: The millions of people who go barefoot everyday don’t have this luxury. They may not even have soap. Or running water. Or any kind of water that they could afford to “waste” by pouring it over their feet. This was an awareness I had – not a guilt trip. I loved that I was able to help my feet feel better.

11. Reminded Me Of:

When I lived in Florida, our local mall had a Christmas tree each year with paper ornaments on it. Written on them was the name of child and a list of what the child needed and their sizes.

I would always look for one of the papers that said the child needed shoes.

Off I’d go to Target or Walmart looking for a pair of sneakers or durable looking outside type of shoes.

I put so much love and thought into it.

I’d imagine the kids getting the shoes and being so excited. Then putting them on and parading around wondering how they looked in them. Or just not even caring and then running straight out to play. <sigh>

12. Shoes are a big deal.

This weekend, even though there aren’t any Christmas trees around with paper ornaments on them, I’m going to buy some shoes and take them to Orangewood – the local shelter for abused and neglected children.

And I’m going to wear my shoes and be grateful for them.

As of about 3:16 pm this afternoon, I no longer reply to emails.

Don’t blame me. Metaphor Mouse made me do it. (I’ve quickly learned that when mice talk, I’d better listen.)

It’s a good thing I did too, because now instead of replying to email (gag!) I play a game that’s even better – and I’m so excited to teach you how to play…

It’s called: Eee! Mail!

About Eee! Mail!

So here’s the scoop: There are 2 main components to the game Eee! Mail!…

Part 1. The Eee!

When you say “Eee!” lift up your eyebrows really high, put on a big smile, and use a high-pitched mousy type of voice. Go ahead and try it right now. It’s super fun and it’ll automatically make you feel happy. Eee! I like things that are fun and happy, so that’s why this part of the game exists.

Part 2. The Mail!

This part is about taking turns writing happy things to each other…

The taking turns part is very important because if you’ve ever played a game like, say…Scrabble…you know that sometimes you’re ready to put your word down right away. Which is great.

And at other times, you need more time. Which is also great.

But it’s no fun to have the other players pressuring you when it’s your turn.

So in the Eee! Mail! game, when it’s our turn, we get to take as long as we desire…

Big sigh, letting shoulders come down from hanging out by the ears…

That means no shame or guilt for not writing back right away. And no extra points for writing back immediately. The Eee! Mail! game is not about speed.

When it’s Your Turn, you can use it however you like because it’s your turn. It belongs to you, ya?

When it’s My Turn, I get to use it how I like. Because it is mine.

Brilliant, I know.

Also this Mail! is very special…

In the Eee! Mail! game, we’re imagining that the email special message is delivered in a fancy envelope with glitter and lots of colors and stickers on the outside. Smiley faces. Rainbows. Hearts. Squiggly doodles. Stars. Happy animals…

This way, when we sit down at our inbox and see each others’ names, we’ll happily exclaim: “Eee!…Mail!” as if the postman had just handed us a beautifully decorated envelope from a dear friend. (That’d be you and me!)

So that’s what Eee! Mail! is all about and how to play…and if you’re ready to play with me, guess what? It’s Your Turn. Eee!

(And if you’ve already written me, then now it’s my turn…so go make some tea and enjoy your life while I take my turn. I love you and I love playing Eee! Mail! with you.)

My amazing friend and inspiration-supplier, Havi does this Thing where she has Metaphor Mouse help her reframe the way she relates to certain activities that are…well…yucky.

So through a series of questions, she finds a new way of relating to the previously yucky task and it makes everything better!

I’m using her template for Metaphor Mousing here because I notice a feeling of dread that comes up when I think about going into my inbox and writing back to some of the emails that I know are waiting there for me.

So here we go…

Unpacking my CURRENT relationship with this. (Responding to Emails = ?)

What are the qualities, aspects and attributes of the thing that isn’t working (including what *is* working — if anything)?

• Important
• Scary
• Guilt
• Part of business
• Want it behind me.
• Looming over my head.
• Get sucked in.
• Drama
• Should
• Has to be done
• Dread
• Reputation ruiner (or builder)
• Behind
• Want to hide
• Hate it

Reminds me of?

Hiding behind the curtains as a kid, but having my feet sticking out and someone knows I’m there. I’m supposed to come out and do some stuff I *should* be doing, but I’m having way more fun (and get to avoid the pain of doing the things) by hiding out behind the curtain giggling and not seeing what’s actually going on out there.

The seeing thing stands out to me. I’m very visual and the fact that this is reminding me of being behind a curtain where I can’t see the rest of the house is significant. I have been doing the same thing with my inbox sometimes. Not wanting to SEE what’s in there. So I just pull the curtain over it – so to speak.

Learning more about my IDEAL metaphor (X = ?)

What sort of qualities, aspects and feelings does the thing I want contain?

• Feels good
• Enjoyable
• Look forward to it.
• Helps my business
• Easy
• Fun
• Quick
• Everything above board.
• Honest.
• Forgiving
• Clear.
• Energizing
• Courage
• People are grateful to hear from me.
• Confidence
• Happy to connect
• Can’t do it wrong.
• Regular upkeep

Reminds me of:

Tending to a garden? In some ways, but not many…

Meeting up with a friend that I haven’t seen for a while and picking up right where we left off and loving each other and being happy to see each other.

Yes! This is what I want. I want it to be like no time has passed. Like this friend is totally forgiving of any time that has passed and it doesn’t even matter to this person that time has passed. Nor does it matter to me. We are in the moment. We’re just happy and grateful to be with each other again and life is easy and everything is good.

What do you think Metaphor Mouse? Are we at Metaphor?

Almost….We require a name for this metaphor so I can refer to it instead of saying replying to email…

• Going to a best friend reunion?
• Reconnecting with old friends?
• Meeting Michele for Tea
• Being With Friends Again
• Talking To Friends Again
• Picking Up Right Where We Left Off… (yes, like the story never stopped and it just starts again now.)
• Continuing The Story – getting closer because now it involves writing
• Choose Your Own Adventure. Hmmm. Like I put the book down for a bit and then now I’m picking it back up and choosing what adventure happens to the characters in the story…only I’m doing this with other people.
• They write some of the story in an email…then I eventually write back to them with more of the story.

YES! This is where I’m loving it.

We are writing a story together and it’s just a matter of picking up where we left off and having space for each of us to write whatever we choose. It’s like my friend Carol talks about in improv…it’s all about “Yes, and…”

You receive what the other person shares, and then instead of judging or criticizing it or changing it, you say, “YES…and then…”

And the story continues.

So it’s not that I’m going to be replying to emails.

Now I’m going to take my turn in the Write Your Own Adventure game we’re playing.

Oh…this is soo fun. Yes, definitely a game. And definitely a TAKING TURNS thing.

Their turn. My turn. Their turn. My turn.

And in this game, the people I play with are allowing of however much time it requires for me to do my turn.

Wonderful!

What needs to happen next?

- Think about the props or things that will help integrate this new metaphor into my life.

- Write a little thing about the Write Your Own Adventure game I just created. Post the rules and object of the game on my blog so I can refer people to the game I’m playing. If they like the way the game sounds, they can play with me. No one has to play though. It’s a creative game, people! Totally optional. I am playing the game though.

- Maybe I need a jersey or some other type of sports uniform that I wear when I’m playing the game? Or a feather pen that I put behind my ear? Or Hmm…what “game pieces” do I require for this game to make it fun?

Any ideas from you, dear Ones?