Are you aware of what’s running your life?

Maybe some deadlines? Responsibilities? Fears?

A lot of us feel like that’s what run our lives…

As if that’s just the way it is…

But there’s another way living…

And it has to do with *choosing* what we allow to guide and run our lives.

It involves letting the old default ways of living fall to the side (after thanking them for being part of our lives of course…

And then welcoming in with open arms the qualities and practices that allow us to thrive and feel empowered on a daily basis.

But we gotta choose them.

It’s not going to happen on its own.

Left to their own devices, our lives will tend to stay the same as they have been — with fear, lack, and avoidance of pain continuing to run the show.

But when we choose…that’s when everything changes.

Below are three self-care practices and qualities that I have consciously chosen to bring into my life.

They allow me to sustain enjoyment of my beautiful life.

And like most self-care practices, these three core practices give way to many other beautiful self-care practices that I am incredibly grateful for.

But without these three, the others would not be born.

They are what my friend Jen Louden might consider part of my Minimum Daily Requirements and I do my best to live with them in my heart, mind, and soul on a daily basis as I move through my life.

As you read through them, consider what yours might be.

Maybe you relate to the ones that I’ve shared. Maybe you’ll realize there’s some other HUGE piece of the picture that you’ve been needing to bring more of into your life and now you see it more clearly…

Here are the ones I’ve found really work for me…

Self-Care Practice #1: Feeling Good:

When I don’t feel good physically or emotionally, things in my life feel much more difficult.

It’s not that they ARE more difficult.

It’s that they seem and feel more difficult.

Why? Because if I don’t feel good, the events that I experience meet a version of me that is weakened and tired and upset. A me who is not resourceful and inspired.

This is why it’s my highest priority to support myself in feeling good physically, emotionally, mentally, an spiritually.

Surprisingly, this was not an easy choice to make.

Initially I had a lot of resistance to feeling good and allowing myself to feel good.

But when I found the willingness to feel good and I finally did make the conscious choice to feel good, it was the domino that tipped over all the other goodness in my life.

Totally amazing.

Self-Care Practice #2: Simplicity:

I used to think that being complicated was something that made me special. Something to wear on my sleeve — but kind of in a hidden way so that I could only reveal it to the people who I thought really mattered.

Not only did my life usually seem complicated to me on the outside, but my internal world was complicated for me also.

I spent a lot of time trying to figure and sort things out, a lot of time living in the past, (makes things very complicated!) and a lot of time dealing with low-grade depression and anxiety. Ooof.

As I made my transition toward happiness, however, and discovered what it took to sustain it, I found there wasn’t room for things that were complicated.

Taking on complicated projects, worrying that things were messed up and confusing, and thinking that I myself was complicated in a way that was inherently impossible to undo…were totally cramping my happiness.

So I made a conscious choice: Complicated was out. Simplicity was in.

And my oh my, how things got better for me and I made that distinction.

Self-Care Practice #3. Surrender:

This one is like the river that the other self-care practices float on.

There are a few pieces to my relationship with surrender:

It involves doing my best (with as much love, focus, and skill as I have available to me in that moment) and then releasing my attachment to the outcome.

That’s the magic part.

Trusting, having faith, watching how I am supported no matter what.

And choosing to be grateful for the outcome I receive as a result of my efforts.

Saying thank you to everything! Everything. Everything. Everything! (Even the things I would have complained about in the past.) Everything means everything

And gratitude toward everything? Well it’s just about the most powerful thing I’ve discovered to date.

The Three That Lead to Glee

Feeling good. Simplicity. Surrender.

The three self-care practices I consciously chose to bring into my life so that it could flow and I could enjoy more of it.

What are some of the qualities you could choose that you know would make it easier for you to enjoy your life?

It doesn’t matter if you know THE three yet…

(Trying to be perfect and get it right the first time and KNOW things is a pretty sure way to stunt our happiness…)

So just start opening your heart and mind to it…

Fill in the blank to get the creative juices flowing:

“If I practiced _____________ more often, I’d probably be happier and/or my life would flow more smoothly, etc.”

Complete the sentence a few times with whatever comes up as you’re thinking about it.

No need to censor. Just list them out…

The more qualities and practices you imagine, the more clarity you can get about what wuld really make the biggest impact in your life if you were to start practicing them.

And no, you don’t have to practice them all at the same time. Even starting with one conscious self-care choice can make a huge difference.

But like I said earlier, we gotta choose it.

It’s not going to happen on its own.

So give yourself a little loving help today…

Leave a comment and let me know what you’re thinking, feeling, and realizing after reading through this…

And let the conscious choosing begin!

It may seem like your life is familiar and routine…

That you do the same things over and over every day…

In some ways, this is true. But on a more refined level, nothing you do is ever the same. Ever.

When you interact with your loved ones, even though you may have been with them for years, things are different. The way they stand, the way your hair is, the depth of your breath, the thoughts you’re thinking, the heaviness in their hearts…

When you brush your teeth, the degree to which you’re bent over the sink may differ, the amount of toothpaste that came out, the force with which you brush, the length of time, the things you think about, the placement of other items on the counter, the number of toothpaste bubbles that have smudged the mirror…all could be different.

When you are driving the same path to the store that you always take, the pebbles on the road are in different spots, the clouds are in different formations than they were last time, the air coming through your vents has different particles in it, the shelves at the store have been restocked…

And even your familiar cashiers (though they may look very similar in their uniforms as they did the last time you came in) are completely different. They have different food in their bellies, they’ve been wearing their uniforms for slightly different amounts of time, they’ve touched different amounts of money as the day has gone on…

Everything is always SO different…

But even if only ONE thing were different and everything else were exactly the same…the moment would still be its own magical creation!

In this way, every moment is new…and you will never ever come upon a moment just like it in all the world…ever again.

See if you can see it…

Take a seemingly familiar situation or interaction and look for the subtle distinctions that make it a miracle from the previous times.

What are the qualities and happenings that are making it “unique in all the world” as my friend the Little Prince would say?

And now that you see this beautiful unique moment, what will you choose to do with it?

How might this awareness of ever-lasting newness change the way you relate to your life?

“I expect to pass this way but once; any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

- Etienne De Grellet

Thank you to Mama Maple for taking this beautiful photo.

I’m reading The Vortex by Ester & Jerry Hicks. On page 41 they share a 30-minute Energy Alignment Process that I’m starting tonight when I go to sleep:

1. Find things in your immediate vicinity – such as your bed, your linens, your pillow – to direct your attention toward.
2. Set the intention to sleep well and wake up refreshed.
3. When you wake up in the morning, lie in appreciation for at least 5 minutes.
4. Refresh yourself by bathing and eating.
5. Sit for 15 minutes and quiet your mind. Feel your vibration rise.
6. Open your eyes. Write for 10-15 minutes about things you appreciate about your life.

It feels so nice just *thinking* about doing this. Imagine actually doing it!

I’ll be back tomorrow to report on this experience.

Join me if you think it’d feel good!

I’m in love with my local library.

I go to its website, I look up books that I want, I put them on hold…

And then Magic happens…

The Lovely Librarians go to the shelves (while I’m working, sleeping, sun bathing, eating and NOT being in the library) and they make a pile of all the books that I want.

Then they put a little piece of paper on my books with my name in all caps: GRAYSON, MONA LISA, and place them on a Special Shelf in the front of the library.

Then get this…

They start playing the Eee! Mail! game with me…and let me know that my books are ready for me to pick them up.

So when it’s convenient for me, I drive or bike over there, walk in the front door, go straight to the Special Shelf in the front of the library and collect the books with my last name showing on the spine.

I take my pile, head straight to the front desk, show the librarian my little green library card so I can be held accountable…and then off I go.

Could it be any sweeter?

Okay, maybe if the library had all my favorite types of books in a van and it drove around like an Ice Cream Truck with a catchy out-of-tune tune, that’d be way cool. But hey – the way it is now saves the library on gas money. That’s more important.

What’s your library like?

Today at the beach there was a couple who sat in a hole that had been dug by some previous beach goers.

They had a plastic grocery bag with them.

He had on swim trunks and no shirt.

She had on shorts and a t-shirt with some silver writing on it.

They sat in the hole and ate chocolate covered ice cream pops out of the plastic grocery bag.

He ate at least 4 of them while they were sitting in the hole.

He fed some to her sometimes, and mostly he just ate ice cream bar after ice cream bar.

One after the other as he looked out over the ocean and snuggled with his sweetheart in the sandy hole.

I loved watching him.

He was so happy.

Yes, he was overweight.

Yes, she was overweight.

So what?

It was the beach. It was ice cream. It was them sitting in a hole in the sand.

And I got to watch. I got to see this sweet moment with them.

I blessed them and their ice cream bars.

Instead of judgment for how many ice cream bars he was eating…

I felt so much love.

Love that he had the money to go to the store and buy the box of ice cream bars.

Love that he and his sweetheart thought to come to the beach and eat them.

Love that they decided to sit in the sandy hole next to me and eat them.

Love that he didn’t have to feel bad about spending money on them and then having them all melt.

Love that he ate them without his shirt on without any apparent shame…one after the other.

Love that he gave himself what he wanted for Valentine’s Day with his sweetheart.

It was an instance that, in the past, may not have been so loved filled for me.

An instance that may have been more judgment filled.

Today it was filled with love – and it really stood out to me.

I’m glad I was paying attention.

I’m glad I chose love.

It’s Valentine’s Day…do you have plans already?

I was wondering if you’d like to get together and question some of our stressful stories about love and relationships…

So I’m holding two free Valentine’s Day Inquiry calls today…

One in the morning and one in the evening.

(You’re welcome to come to one or both.)

We’ll be questioning stories like:

• I shouldn’t be alone.
• My partner shouldn’t have done/said that.
• Relationships are hard.
• Valentine’s Day is stupid.
• I need a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife.
• My partner is annoying because…
• I’m not lovable.

Basically it’s a BYOST party…

“Bring Your Own Stressful Thoughts” party…

So jot down some of those yucky, sad, depressing thoughts about love and relationships and we’ll question them and get some feel-good-clarity instead.

Sound good?

Details for the free Valentine’s Day Inquiry calls are below…

I love you -

Free Valentine’s Day Inquiry Calls

Date: Sunday, Feb. 14th

- Morning Call: 10 am Pacific (11
Mountain, 12 Central, 1 Eastern)

- Evening Call: 6 pm Pacific (7 Mountain,
8 Central, 9 Eastern)

Phone: (605) 475-4825

Access code: 1064758#

No need to RSVP…just bring your lovely self and maybe some warm tea.

P.S. I went to the dollar store last week and bought a stick with a red sparkly styrofoam heart on the end of it. It makes me smile and I’m going to be holding it during our calls today.

So what if there’s dog hair on your water bottle?

So what if you step in a puddle and get your sock wet?

So what if you try to draw a bike and it looks more like a building?

They’re only mess ups if we tell ourselves they shouldn’t be like that.

Otherwise, it’s all good. And we can be happy no matter what.