How I Get Myself To Do Things Without Using Fear, Pressure, or Guilt

Getting Clear About My Why

I’m the type of person who tends to want to know Why I’m doing things. (Other people need to know How, or What, or Application Possibilities.) Since I know that I’m the Why kind of person, it’s silly to ignore it.

So here’s how I use it: If I want to see something through all the way, I need to make sure I’m clear about Why I’m doing it. If I don’t give that information to myself and allow myself to connect to it, I’m setting myself up to fail. I’m not giving myself the best chance of succeeding. So I gotta be clear about my why.

I need to be clear about WHY I’m doing something. What is it that you need to be clear about before you feel good about doing things?

Another one of my non-anxiety-producing productivity tips is this one:

Putting Down The Stick

Remember the donkey withe carrot and the stick?

When I stop using the stick, it’s all different. I used to use Sticks on myself all the time. That’s how I got myself to do things. Beat myself up. Guilt myself into do it. Put pressure on myself to do things…or ELSE…all this yucky stuff would happen. That’s how I did it for years.

But guess what? I’m not willing to play that game anymore. Obviously it wasn’t working! So what if I got stuff done? It wasn’t fun and I didn’t like myself during it. I wasn’t happy. It made me physically ill. I wasn’t healthy. So that’s clearly not the right approach for me.

When I valued productivity above all else, I needed the stick.

But now, I choose feeling good over productivity . When I choose feeling good, I can’t use the stick anymore. It doesn’t go together. When I choose feeling good, I put the stick down and pick up the carrot and move toward my goals instead of away from my worries and panicky fears.

I used to use the stick but I realized it wasn’t giving me the results I actually wanted. Now I’m switching it up and putting down the stick in favor of the carrot. What’s your relationship with the carrot and the stick?

Making it inevitable.

So how do I help myself move forward without pushing myself and tying myself to my computer for days and days?

I set up conditions that will lovingly, and kindly support me in finishing The Thing.

With my recent Thing, I realized that one of the reasons it’s so hard to finish is that I’m not in communication with anyone about it. I’m not talking to my prospects in this niche. I haven’t been talking about it with my clients. I’ve basically totally abandoned the thoughts that need to be active in order to complete this project.

Now that I see that I’ve been doing this, and I see how the lack of engagement about the topic has been keeping me from being able to work toward completion, I’m setting up a condition that will make it so that I DO get that interaction on the topic of the unfinished project.

I’m creating a group teleclass coaching program so that I can talk with my people about the topic of the book I’m going to finish. That my inevitability.

By creating the class and having people register for it, I’ll have a context for opening up the topic of conversation again – both with the participants – and in my mind. And the people who pre-ordered the yet incomplete book, will get to attend this program for free.

So as I re-immerse myself on the topic of the book within this teleclass coaching program, completing the book will come naturally because I’m thinking about the topic so much more.

Again…it’s one of those duh kind of moments, but if I’m not immersed in the content for the book I want to finish, it’s going to be much harder for me to finish it.

Solution? Make it inevitable that I have some conversation going about the topic of the book. If that’s what I need in order to complete the project, then I’m going to give it to myself. That’s the domino that when it tips, the others will start tipping too. It has nothing to do with fear, shaming, blaming, pressure, or anxiety. And everything to do with being really clear about what I require so that I can give myself the conditions that will help me succeed.

What ingredient is missing in the recipe for you completing The Unfinished Thing? What kind of conditions could you set in place to make it inevitable that you’re set up for more success and have the support you require?