Before I tell you how to be happy (the easy way!) I gotta make sure you know how we wind up unhappy in the first place.
Don’t worry – we’re not taking any long trips back into your psyche or childhood memories.
The main thing to understand is that getting unhappy takes the same amount of effort as getting happy.
“Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them. ” -Epictetus
The only reason we are ever unhappy (stressed, bothered, worried, angry) is because of what we THINK about the situation we’re in or the situation we’re observing.
Unhappiness is a result of our thoughts.
That’s it!
Consider this…
How do you think it is that one kid is totally bummed when she gets a C on a test and another kid is ecstatic?
Both kids got C’s on their tests…
One is happy and one is miserable.
Obviously a “C” written on the top of the paper is not the cause of their feelings.
There’s something else affecting whether they feel good or bad.
Yep…it’s the view that the kids took about their respective C’s.
One kid thought it was great. Another thought it was terrible.
The way they thought about their C is what caused their feelings.
Got it?
It’s with this insight that we’ll explore how to be happy – the easy way.
Remember…being unhappy is a result of your thinking.
And…
Being happy is also a result of your thinking.
This is great news!
Since you’re going to be thinking *something* – it may as well be something that you like and that makes you feel good.
We are thinking machines.
That’s what our brains and minds do. They think. Think. Think. And think some more.
Thoughts come in lots of forms:
- Thoughts about the past.
- Thoughts about the present.
- Thoughts about the future.
- Thoughts we don’t like.
- Thoughts we do like.
That means your thoughts are always a combination of those things.
- Thoughts about the past that we don’t like.
- Thoughts about the present that we don’t like.
- Thoughts about the future that we don’t like.
Or we can have:
- Thoughts about the past we DO like.
- Thoughts about the present we DO like.
- Thoughts about the future we DO like.
So here’s where it gets really simple…
If you want to feel good, stop thinking things that make you feel bad.
And start thinking things you enjoy and that make you feel good!
If you don’t like how you feel when you think about what your kids are going to do after they graduate high school, stop thinking about that. (You worrying isn’t helping anything.)
Instead, start thinking about that great meal you had last night that tasted so good, or how grateful you are that your kids are even graduating high school. Start thinking about that great sweater you got on sale, or the funny TV show you’re looking forward to watching later.
If you don’t like looking at the dirty dishes in your kitchen, for crying out loud, stop looking at them..and start looking at something you find beautiful!
There are so many incredible things in the world to look at. You do not need to torture yourself by looking at things you don’t like.
Eventually, when you are feeling better, you can look at the dirty dishes and it will be okay. But for now, stop looking at them.
Focus your attention on your kitty cat, your artwork, your beautiful yard, the birthday card on the fridge, close your eyes and imagine yourself at the beach if that feels good…
This is a matter of focusing your attention on what you DO like instead of what you DON’T like.
It’s a matter of THINKING about what you do like instead of thinking about what you don’t like.
The more you boost yourself up with good feelings by choosing to focus on things you like, the easier doing everything else in your life gets.
Life is easier when you feel good!
When you feel bad, everything else seems difficult…have you noticed?
We get unhappy by focusing on things that we don’t like. By thinking about them over and over and over.
Knowing that this is how our brain works, we can reverse engineer our happiness.
Start focusing on things that you do like. Think about them over and over and over…and watch how you start to feel better.
Making lists like this is a great way to start getting your attention going in a feel-good direction:
I like peaches! I like the ponies next door! I like waking up early! I like sleeping in! I like fresh juice! I like coconuts! I like my pillows! I like flute music! I like my mom! I like my spiral notebooks. I like my new red puffer vest. I like strawberries. I like grapes! I like my car! I like blue skies! I like the chirping birds! I like my prayer flags! I like my Kindle! I like my friends!
Use the comments below and make a list of things you like! Focus your attention like this regularly and magic will happen. Bippity boppity boo!
