Okay. I unfollowed like 300 people on Twitter on Saturday.
A website helped me unfollow a bunch at once (I don’t remember the link for it) then I did the rest manually over the course of the day…a few here, a few there.
Funny thing? I probably unfollowed the guy who I was following who told me about the site that would help me start unfollowing people.
Reasons I unfollowed people (in no particular order):
- I didn’t like your avatar. Avatars are like pictures hanging on my wall at home, so if yours wasn’t something I liked looking at, I unfollowed purely for decorative reasons.
- You don’t @reply to people or to me.
- You mostly or only tweet quotes.
- You mostly or only tweet RTs (re-tweets from other people.)
- You mostly or only tweet article titles and blog post titles. Can you tell from those 4 that I prefer having conversations now?
- You tweet with a lot of symbols like hearts, stars, music notes, or create wave patterns with slashes and dots (somehow). See above reason about decorative issues.
- Other random reasons like “just because I felt like it.”
- You say things that I’m not interested in.
- If I felt blah or yucky in any way after reading your tweet.
Yeah, that about sums it up. Especially the last two. I’m now choosing to create a Twitter stream that supports me in feeling encouraged, empowered, and inspired. Oh, and happy.
I didn’t have the awareness before, but now I actually value my Twitter stream. It’s a beautiful thing and I want to nurture and take care of myself and the people who follow me. It’s all about the Twitter stream.
So if I think you’re saying some cool things and I think it’ll be fun talking with you and sharing and learning together…and your avatar is something I’d like to hang on my wall, or at least put on my fridge as a magnet, we’ll keep getting along just fine and we’ll play in my Twitter stream together.
If not, well, I’ll probably unfollow you as a way to take care of myself and enjoy my life more. It’s not personal. After all – it’s because of me that I followed you in the first place.
So if you’ll excuse me, I might just quietly back out of your room and close the door behind me. That’s what an unfollow is.
Now…
Some cool stuff has been happening after unfollowing so many people…
- I enjoy Twitter more. I used to go to Twitter on the web and see all these tweets that were like nosiy subject lines in my inbox. I ignored them and actually felt agitated looking at all the stuff in my Twitter stream. Most of them were from people I had never talked to, and didn’t necessarily want to talk to, and it was not a friendly feeling place. Now when I get on Twitter I see more of what I want to see. Granted, it’s Saturday night so it’s different than 2pm on Tuesday afternoon, but at least I’m getting a head start while the traffic is slower.
- I am taking control of my input. Ya know how it’s said that we’re a combination of the 5 people we hang out with the most? Well, I made a list of some of the top people I hang out with, then realized that when I’m on Twitter, I’m “hanging out” with all the people in my Twitter stream. There are some people that I am/was following who I would not choose to have influencing me. So I’m intentionally choosing what types of vibes and messages show up in my Twitter stream and deselecting others.
- Twitter is like a newsletter list. When I’m thinking about what to send to my newsletter lists, I actually think about it. Whatever I send to my subscribers is intentional and it has the people on my newsletter list in mind. I used to see all this busy NOISE on my Twitter stream so I would come and kinda blast something into the crowd without really thinking about who was on the receiving end. It was like I was talking to nobody in a way. Now I have more of an awareness that I’m actually speaking to people when I tweet things and it’s not just talking to nobody. Might be a no-brainer to you, but I wasn’t seeing it.
- I was a big stereo-typer. So I used to have a bunch of different topics I would follow on Twitter. Marketers, Business Owners, Vegans, Vegetarians, Parents, Celebrities, Raw Foodists, Artists, Fitness Coaches, Life Coaches, Triathletes…lots of stuff. And often times I followed people based on whether those types of words were in their profiles. I was acting under the (very silly) assumption that if someone was a tri-athelete, or a business owner, that’d I’d actually enjoy what they were writing in their Tweets because we had at least that one thing in common. This was not what happened. There’s way more to picking people to follow on Twitter than just scanning for keywords in their bios. Instead of reading bios, I’ve now learned to read their Tweet stream to see what kind of stuff they post. Do I want that stuff showing up in my Tweet stream? Because if I follow them, it will!
- It’s OK to be discerning. There are people on other social media things like Facebook and MySpace that I would not want to hang out with. I wouldn’t want to read their page. I wouldn’t want to see what songs they’re listening to. I prefer not seeing their wallpaper choices. So here was the insight: Just because I’m cool and I’m on Twitter, doesn’t mean that everyone on Twitter is cool to the point of it being fun and enjoyable to hang out with them. I don’t have to hang out with everyone on Twitter. It’s totally okay. And I no longer agree with the notion that having a lot of followers or following a lot of people on Twitter is for everyone.
- I feel more friendly. By removing some of the “noise” that was distracting me, I get to bring more of myself to my time on Twitter. I feel more open and available for reaching out to people I’m following who say interesting things and I can *actually* build relationships. Which brings me to the next cool thing…
- I finally get it. I’ve been on Twitter since December 2008…so about 6 months at the time of this writing. And so far, it’s just been a cool new thing – but I hadn’t really started building strong relationships with people. I saw Twitter as a break in my day, a place to be a voyeur, a place to kinda tap into the mainstream, a place to do research, to promote things, to collect followers, to hear the news that most people are interested in, and learn about other people. But it actually took me starting this blog (and sharing myself and my life) in order for me to go back to Twitter and actually understand the whole “build relationships” aspect of Twitter
I imagine you’ve got some thoughts on Twitter and following and unfollowing…or being followed or being unfollowed. What’s coming up for you?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I already have a small hand-picked twitter stream, but you gave me some good ideas for keeping it that way going forward. Thanks!
I think you have brought up some very valid reasons for unfollowing someone on Twitter. I’ve only been on twitter a few months so in many ways am still trying to figure out how best to use it. At first I thought I had to follow everyone who followed me but have since changed my mind. The avatar issue is a good one especially if the avatar is offensive in any way. Some on twitter are so busy trying to get a huge number of followers which really defeats the idea of a social network. It would be better if they focus on quality followers instead.
What I really liked about this article is it made me think about how best to use Twitter. Many of my followers are also bloggers that I enjoy reading their blogs and they read mine. So unfollowing the ones that really have no interest makes sense. Your point on quotes is a good one too something I am going to take into consideration.
I’m curious as to whether you block or not? Some are clearly spammers/porn who are following so I’m wondering if it is just better to block them from seeing my updates? Any advice on this? TIA
gardengnome1 on twitter
@Bev: If I knew then what I know now, I may have approached Twitter differently. Though, I gotta say I’m super grateful for my experience with it – even with all the noise I wound up collecting in my Twitter stream. Glad you’re getting some ideas to help you keep yours nice and flow-y.
@Tia: Good to see you here! I’ve only blocked totally pornographic ones. And that’s only been like 4 or something? So I don’t use the block feature very much. So far I haven’t come across a situation where I’ve wanted to prevent someone from seeing my tweets specifically. If a spammer sees that I made a smoothie with blueberries…maybe it’s for the best!
Will look forward to seeing any tweets you have to share about how you are finding the best ways to use Twitter. Good for you for giving it some thought. I’m giving it a lot more thought now too and it feels GOOOD.
I’m so glad you’re in my tweetstream, Mona. I really like this list you’ve written and I would have preferred to have begun my twitter experience knowing then what I know about followers.
Unlike you, perhaps, I expect that before too too long, I’ll end up being one of those twits who has an enormous list of people following me. But, I am on a mission to create a personal connection with EVERY single one of my followers. And if there are 10,000,000 of them one day, I’m looking forward to it.
I don’t think I’m so picky about the aesthetics of someone else’s avatar, (that doesn’t mean I’m not), but, since I realized the importance of the follower, I don’t add anyone unless they are recommended to me or because they initiated conversation with me. I think I may even have a couple of followers who haven’t added their avatars yet. Shudder!
Because of all of these reasons that you list in addition to my twilosophies, we agree with each other 100%, the quality of the followers is the only reason to join and become an active part of the twitterverse. Why would anyone do it any other way. It is so much deeper and richer when I am connected to the people who feed off of my silly inanities.
I am bookmarking this page in my browser twitter favourites’ links and will now give it to new twitterers who say hello in my tweet stream when they follow me, so they can make their twitterverse as rich as yours and mine is!
I love this place.
I LOVE my followers. 
@PepperFire That’s great that you love your followers so much and want to connect with all of them. I’m with ya…
I love connecting with the followers that I’m connected with and I love meeting new followers who come out and say hello for the first time. I never know what’s going to inspire my followers to make contact with me and it’s okay if they don’t contact me and they just choose to lurk.
The important distinction for me is Follower vs Following.
The people who are my followers…they’re following *me* which means that I show up in their Tweet Stream. But they only show up in mine if I’m also following them.
My whole blog entry here was about cleaning up the people that I’m *following*. Not the people who are following me (my followers.)
So far, I have no reason to clean up my Follower list. I’m grateful for all them as they’re reading or not reading my Tweets. And if they’re moved by something I write and want to reach out, then it’s great.
I also don’t have control over who chooses to follow me. (Other than blocking some of them which I have only done in the case of porn-ish people.)
Other than that, everyone is welcome to follow me, and I am being more selective about who I choose to follow back. And who I start following in the first place.
Glad the post resonated with you. And if you’re one of @PepperFire’s friends and you came here because she shared the link with you, welcome to my blog…and to Twitter! You can find me here: @monagrayson.
Also, it’s cool to see what stuff I Tweet resonates with different people. Sometimes out of nowhere something I Tweet will lead to responses from people I’d never heard from before. My followers who were watching and listening and our paths wind up crossing at just the right time. Maybe about a certain food, or a movie, or a way I describe something. Never know what’s going to bring people in closer.
Wow Mona, I appreciate your post. I notice that I am avoiding even going to Twitter because it is so confusing to me.
I don’t have a system. I don’t know why I really want to be there. Well, I would want to be there to develop business relationships – or relationships in general, but how to choose, is something that I don’t have clarity on.
Your post gives me food for thought. Perhaps I will go check it out again.
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