Overwhelm – A Socially Acceptable Form Of Abuse

by Mona on May 17, 2010

Saying we’re overwhelmed is socially acceptable.

“It’s all so overwhelming.”

“I have so much stuff to do.”

“Ugh. I’m overwhelmed.”

Sounds like a bummer thing to experience…

But nobody really freaks out when you tell them you’re overwhelmed, have you noticed?

You don’t get the same OMG reaction that you’d get if you told them you broke your leg or were covered in poison ivy.

But don’t let people’s ho-hum reaction to your overwhelm convince you that it’s not a big deal.

Overwhelm is a sign of serious neglect.

Self-abuse even.

Think about it…

It can cause heart palpitations, anxiety, sleep troubles, sexual dysfunction, depression, sudden changes in mood, freak out sessions. It impairs judgment and can sabotage your business success.

Feeling overwhelmed sucks. And it hurts.

<Queue the melodramatic doctor’s voice telling you all the side effects to watch out for with those new-fangled prescription meds.>

Overwhelm is a sign of serious neglect.

If we’re feeling overwhelmed, something is seriously off.

There’s more (and bigger!) stuff going on than we’re admitting.

Overwhelm doesn’t happen when there are just a few things going on…

There has to be a big huge thing we’re neglecting – which gives those other little things a place to hang out and bug us.

Overwhelm only happens when something important is being seriously neglected.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed…get honest with yourself.

What’s the Big Thing that you’re neglecting?

It’s not that you have too much to do.

It’s that there’s one Big Thing you haven’t been doing.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Beverly May 20, 2010 at 1:35 pm

Wow–good one to think about!! Thanks for the clue. I’m setting off on this scavenger hunt right now!

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Mona May 20, 2010 at 1:51 pm

@Bev Looking for the big thing that I was neglecting the other day made such a big difference. Way more effective than poking around dealing with the little stuff. When I went straight to the Big Thing, the overwhelm totally fizzled out. Saved me a lot of time I could have wound up feeling overwhelmed and stuck.
Mona´s last blog ..Overwhelm – A Socially Acceptable Form Of Abuse My ComLuv Profile

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Rachel Heslin May 23, 2010 at 12:45 pm

Sometimes, there’s definitely an underlying Big Thing that causes stress. I find it helps to find it and break it down into more manageable bites.

At the same time, sometimes, for myself, anyway, it’s a matter of lack of organization. There truly are a lot of little things, and I occasionally have the attention span of a spastic gnat, flitting from project to project such that, at the end of the day, I’m not exactly sure what I’ve accomplished or what still needs to be.

Okay, it’s no longer as bad as it used to be, as I’ve become significantly more disciplined over the years, but at the moment, it’s spring and my allergies are kicking my butt (and brain.) :D
Rachel Heslin´s last blog ..Listening to a child My ComLuv Profile

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Mona May 26, 2010 at 11:54 am

@Rachel: Ugh on the allergies. That can be rough.

I’ve been looking at that flitting from thing to thing habit…what is the big issue that I”m not tending to that makes it difficult for me to deal with those little things…and also keeps me from feeling grounded enough that the little stuff doesn’t overwhelm me. Of course, when we do address the Big Thing…it’s usually with a small do-able task. So eventually the Big Thing gets worked on in smaller pieces.

Thanks for coming by and sharing!

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Katie Williams May 29, 2010 at 9:47 am

Hey Mona

Great post. I’ll definitely bear this in mind when I suffer from overwhelm next… for me, I guess overwhelm is thinking there are so many things to juggle and just 24 hours a day when I swear I need about 60. ;)

Or maybe I tell myself it’s the juggling, and really there’s a deeper issue going on.

Very interesting!

Katie
Katie Williams´s last blog ..The Dangers Of Emotional Eating My ComLuv Profile

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Jennifer June 4, 2010 at 8:55 pm

Great post Mona! You know, it reminded of one of the biggest insults I’ve ever received. A “friend” (who really turned out to not be such a great friend) told me that I just seemed so “overwhelmed” all the time..it was like a slap in the face, especially because I wasn’t experiencing my life that way at all. Had never thought about it in terms of a form of self abuse…but receiving it from someone felt that way.

Such good food for thought!
Jen

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Mona June 4, 2010 at 9:11 pm

@Jen Thanks for sharing that! I can imagine how surprising it was for you when you didn’t see yourself that way at all.

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Samuel June 13, 2010 at 2:48 pm

This is so true! Great reminder.

But sometimes it can be interesting to see who’s standards we are neglecting. It does not necessarily have to be your own. Where do the ideas come from?

Cheers!
Samuel´s last blog ..Start writing NOW in 8 steps My ComLuv Profile

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Mona June 13, 2010 at 3:15 pm

@Samuel I agree – really good to look at where our standards came from. Also – if I take good care of myself (and don’t neglect myself in the core care ways) then I don’t take on other people’s standards as much. Why? Because I’m solid in myself and know what I can and can’t accomplish. Or at least have a better gauge because I’m more in touch with myself. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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Dorothy July 7, 2010 at 10:18 am

Stumbled across this posting, Mona – loved it :-) . I found it the day a friend told me she is feeling totally overwhelmed. So I’ve sent it to her with gentle note attached…

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