This post was inspired by a comment I left for my friend Rose Cole, an amazing holistic nutritionist who “told it like it was” on her blog and admitted that she hadn’t exercised in 6 months. She wrote about her situation so she could get some help from her readers about getting back on track. This is almost identical to the comment I left for her.
I remember being around 12-years-old…
I’d be just about to empty the dishwasher (on my own accord because I wanted to help out, not because I was asked) and then my mom would say, “Honey, can you unload the dishes for me?”
Gah!
Suddenly what I had once wanted to do just to be nice and help out, turned into a “have to” and I totally didn’t want to do it anymore. It was only because she hadn’t asked me to do it, that I felt willing and free enough to move toward it on my own.
Here’s what I’ve noticed about how this relates to exercising…
It’s the same!
Sometimes I need to give myself some space (by not making exercise a “have to” or a “should”) so that I can naturally move toward it on my own when I’m feeling ready to.
Without the space and permission to NOT exercise, we’re not free *to* exercise.
At that point, we’re exercising out of force and “have to” and that’s what we often rebel against. Then we can wind up not exercising at all.
So here’s a suggestion:
See if you can be at peace with and make friends with the fact that you haven’t exercised in 6 months – or done that thing you think you should have done.
Can you be okay with it?
Your inner self probably needs some reassurance that you love it even if it doesn’t exercise. Know what I mean? That you love yourself unconditionally even if you haven’t done what you thought you should.
It needs permission and to know that it’s okay to be the way it has been and the way it currently is. (Hint: Your less-toned body needs to know this also.)
This can seem kind of a daring, scary thing to do – because people worry that if they give themselves permission NOT to exercise, then they’ll never exercise.
But if we go back to the dishwasher connection…
The only reason I wanted to unload the dishes without being asked is *because* I wasn’t asked.
It wasn’t a “have to” in that moment. So I had the freedom to move toward it on my own without my ego getting in the way.
As soon as my mom asked me to do it and brought it up, my rebellious ways came back and I didn’t want to do it anymore.
So see if you can give yourself some inner permission to not exercise.
Make a list: 10 Reasons It’s Great I Haven’t Been Exercising For The Last 6 Months (Or Done That Thing I Think I Should Have Done…)
Seriously. You can even post them right here in the comments section…
Most people don’t like being bossed around – and our ego, our inner selves, our inner children, our spirits – any and all parts you believe to be inside of you - usually aren’t into being bossed around either.
This doesn’t mean we can’t still set up conditions so that it’s easy to exercise when we choose to, but can we be okay if it happens and okay if it doesn’t? Can we love ourselves all the way no matter what?
Out of that love, can come the freedom and inspired action to exercise.
====> What’s the thing you’ve been telling yourself you should be doing…and you keep resisting it? Have you given yourself full permission NOT to do it yet?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
The process of writing this post has made me realize some places where I haven’t given myself full, loving permission to NOT do some things. So I’m in this boat too…
Mona, wow do I concur with what you’re saying. Give me something that I HAVE to do (even self-imposed) and my inner rebel is awake and fighting. Take the pressure off and voila – the same task is suddenly sparkly and bright. I love the example that you gave too.
I also have this theory that not doing something for whatever period of time has a lot to do with rhythm. I think it’s hardly ever because the person is lazy or not good at following through or all the other things we beat ourselves up about. I think it has a lot to do with what’s right, right now. I’ll get in exercise grooves and then I get out of them and get down on myself. But then if I take a look, often I see that I got out of the groove because something subtle in my schedule changed and I needed to shift to accommodate. Or I’ll see that it was really that I had become tired of the certain exercises I had once been excited about. It’s always about some kind of subtle shift.
Anyway, thanks for your words about giving full, loving permission NOT to do something. Just reading that makes me feel relief (and I’m not even stressed about this topic right now!) and reminds me of that precious self-acceptance that we know we need but then forget in what seems like every second.
Lisa – Thanks for bringing these two words into the conversation: Rhythm & Shift. Just because the mind comes up with an idea about what I’m supposed to be doing, doesn’t mean that *I* am on board with the ideas and am ready to do them. I might have some other needs that need to be taken into consideration too.
THANK you for this. Even my inner Rebel is grinning. WE get it now!
Awesome, Kitty.
This is such an awesome point.
In my experience, I find that I eat healthier when I’m by myself versus when I feel like I’m around people that I feel judge my eating habits. I almost want to rebel in the presence of those people. It’s not the smartest, but… it’s what happens.
I actually experienced the exercise thing this morning, too. I woke up and got ready to make breakfast, then thought – “Wow – I’d really love to go hiking today.” I hadn’t been in 4 months and was way slacking on the exercise, but I hadn’t been beating myself up over it and the exercise was that much more rewarding today.
I love you!
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